Healthy Relationships

Therapy for relational challenges

Struggling in relationships can impair an individual’s ability to see a situation clearly because of how important relationships in our lives are, and how upsetting it can be to feel disconnected or misunderstood.

I create a non-judgmental space to hear your concerns and we can decide together how you can take control of your relationships.

 In therapy, we discuss four core components for healthy relationships:

Curiosity

The irony of knowing someone well or seeing someone often (like the people we live with) is that we lose our curiosity for continuing to get to know them. Over time people change, and yet we maintain a fixed view of them in our minds. By developing the foundational skill of curiosity, we can improve relationships because we can learn to better understand the people in our lives. 

Validation

When people feel seen, heard, and validated, they are able to relax and feel more open and vulnerable. Through practicing the essential skill of validation, you can significantly improve your relationships at home, work, and school. 

Vulnerability

Being vulnerable in relationships means letting your guard down and opens you up to the possibility of getting hurt. Without vulnerability, there is no authenticity. If you are feeling like the relationships in your life are surface-level, you may benefit from practicing vulnerability within the safe context of therapy so you can begin to experience deeper relationships with others. 

Boundaries

Setting boundaries with the people in your life means becoming clear about what you can offer to that relationship at any given time. Setting boundaries sometimes means saying “no” and building the ability to be okay with disappointing others. Boundaries are crucial to self-preservation and to the long-term success of relationships.

Support for relationships

Intimate relationships

If you are struggling in an intimate relationship, individual therapy can help you explore the role that you play in the dynamic. Perhaps you didn’t have a model of what a healthy relationship could look like when you were growing up. Ideally, a relationship includes two whole people coming together to enhance their lives together. Individual therapy can help you explore if you’re in the “right” relationship, help you set healthy boundaries so you are not solely responsible for your partner’s wellbeing, or support you to bring the spark back to a relationship. Intimate relationships can be a source of tremendous joy and support, but they can require significant work and self-reflection. Therapy can help you be the architect for the relationship you wish to create. 

Relationships with your kids

The demands of parenting within a culture of perfection can significantly impact a parent’s mental health. As a parent, you give so much to the people in your life, and you deserve your own space and time to take care of your wellbeing. Taking the time to take care of yourself and reflect on your life and parenting can have a significantly positive impact on improving your confidence as a parent and your relationship with your children. Understanding child development and shifting the way that you relate to your children can improve your relationship with your children so you can start feeling happier at home. 

Friendships

Struggling with friendships can have you experiencing shame and feeling alone – after all, friendships are voluntary relationships that are “supposed to come easily”. Yet there are certain facets of friendships that can render them complicated and confusing. Indeed, friendships (unlike romantic relationships) don’t have as clear boundaries as what may be expected. There are also social expectations that may have you feeling alone or not good enough if you don’t have “enough” friends. It can also be difficult as an adult to put yourself out there to make new friends, which can make you feel self-conscious and alone. Together in therapy, we can explore the role that friendships play in your life, and move towards improving friendships or setting out to grow your social circle so you can feel more connected. 

Relationships with your parents

Many adults find that being around their parents can be extremely triggering, or even make them feel like a teenager or child.  Growing up, you may have found that you played a specific role in the family and that although you no longer exist in the primary context of your family of origin, you revert to how you used to act, think, and feel growing up when you are around family. As an adult, you may also be experiencing the grief or loss of having a less than “perfect” family, or coming to terms with having had a difficult childhood. Through engaging in therapy, you can decide whether you’d like to work on improving relationships with your parents or practice acceptance and set boundaries so you can take care of yourself. 

Relationship with yourself

You may have heard that the most important relationship you can have is with yourself, and I firmly believe this is true. Feeling flawed, worthless, and ashamed of yourself can deeply affect your thoughts, behaviours, and day-to-day life. Working on your relationship with yourself can start by exploring the language of self-compassion, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and learning to take care of your mental health and physical needs. Many of the same techniques that are used to improve relationships with others can be used to increase coherence with all the different “parts” that make up your internal system. By improving your relationship with yourself, you can begin to experience more confidence and you will find that your relationships with others improve, as well.

Support is available

Ready to feel more connected to yourself and others? Reach out for a free consultation to explore what working together could look like.